Maternal Mental Health: honoring your Journey on Mothers Day

In this deeply vulnerable and heartfelt episode of Musings of a Geriatric Mama, host Kedna Amey opens up an honest conversation about maternal mental health, identity loss, postpartum struggles, overwhelm, self-compassion, and the silent realities many mothers carry behind closed doors.

In honor of Maternal Mental Health Month, this episode serves as both a reminder and a love letter to mothers everywhere.

Whether you are in the newborn trenches, raising toddlers, supporting a child with developmental challenges, parenting teens, navigating infertility, grieving loss, or simply trying to rediscover yourself after becoming a mother — this conversation reminds you that you are not alone.

Kedna speaks candidly about:

•  The emotional and biological realities of motherhood 
•  Postpartum identity shifts and mourning the “old you” 
•  Maternal depletion and the effects of hormonal changes 
•  The invisible mental load mothers carry daily 
•  Why boundaries and self-compassion are essential 
•  Releasing mom guilt and embracing grace 
•  The importance of support systems and community 
•  Healing generational trauma while raising children 
•  Finding hope and strength during difficult seasons 

This episode is for the high-achieving woman who once moved a million miles per hour and now finds herself navigating a completely new version of life and self.

Above all, this episode is a reminder that motherhood does not erase who you are — it reveals who you are becoming.

Timestamps: 

00:00 - A love letter to mothers: acknowledging strength and sacrifice
 00:31 - Motherhood expectations versus reality 
 01:23 - Physical and biological changes 
 02:23 - The psychological remodeling of a mother’s brain
 03:20 - Challenges specific to new and postpartum mothers
 04:54 - The importance of rest, recovery,
 06:17 - Navigating motherhood milestones
 09:03 - Practical affirmations: 
 10:29 - Embracing mess, love, and self-care 
 11:27 - The mental load of motherhood 
 13:29 - Letting go of mom guilt 
 15:16 - Reframing motherhood as a journey of becoming 
 16:44 - Character building through motherhood's challenges
 17:22 - The importance of presence 
 18:01 - Recognizing your resilience 
 20:06 - The importance of community 
 22:14 - Honoring mother figures, grieving mothers
 23:38 - Resources for mental health support during motherhood
 28:50 - Saying goodbye to the old self and welcoming the warrior within
 29:44 - Encouragement to share, 

 Important Resources Mentioned

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 📞 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)

A free, confidential, 24/7 support line for mothers experiencing emotional distress, anxiety, depression, or mental health crises during pregnancy and postpartum.

Quote: "The moment a child is born, the mother is also born" is a famous quote often attributed to the mystic Osho

Remember, motherhood is an ongoing journey of growth and grace. Hold on to your strength, celebrate your wins, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support. You are not alone. Stay Connected to a community of women like YOU and grab this Burnout to Balance Reset Guide! 

Let's stay connected!  https://linktr.ee/K.AmeyInspires?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=0eb50dac-1e79-445d-9c1e-8a5dd2e34847

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of Musings of a Geriatric Mama. This episode is really special to me. Finally, I get a chance to share something that has been on my heart for the amazing women that I'm surrounded by daily. It's May. And in May, we celebrate the spring. In May, we celebrate mothers. And in May, we also bring awareness to a silent epidemic that is affecting mothers and mother figures throughout. May is maternal mental health month. And during this time, the goals are to shed more light and raise awareness about perinatal mental health disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and even psychosis. The thing about it is, we go through motherhood on autopilot sometimes. We don't even realize what we may be going through because society has historically made us feel like, hey, you're a mom. You just have to deal with it. It comes with the territory. And the truth is, these perinatal mental disorders and conditions affect one in five new mothers. And sometimes it may affect more, but not everyone reports it or goes to seek the services that they need. So this episode is a reminder that you're not alone. This episode is to affirm you that it's okay to mourn the woman and the identity you believe you lost. And this episode also wants to make sure that you have the resources that you need. The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, 1833 TLC Mama, or 1833 852-6262, is a 24-7 free confidential support line for mothers that may be in crisis. You are beloved. You are worthy. You are seen and you are heard, even though it may not feel like it. I love you and you're loved. And this is a love letter to you. Hey, I know you're tired. I know you may have gotten a diagnosis you didn't expect. I know you're going to therapy with your kid daily. I know that breastfeeding is taking more than you thought. I know that staying home may not have been your plan. I know that the bag that once was there is no more. I know you're questioning God right now. I know you cry in the shower or in the car or at work. I know. So that's why I'm writing this love letter to you. Motherhood is incredibly beautiful, yet at the same time incredibly thankless, incredibly lonely, incredibly hard. You had expectations. You believed motherhood was going to be fairy tales, lullabies, perfect, perfectly matching blankets and onesies. And then you were faced with the reality that it's tougher than you thought. Maybe you approach motherhood with more of the reality that things would be hard because of maybe your childhood experiences. And maybe you're recovering from your own mother wounds, trying to rewrite history. A history that has kept you thriving and striving to be the best. A history that has you trying not to repeat it. I hear you. I see you. I know. Maybe you're in the trenches right now. Those newborn trenches. I mean, I get why they call it. I don't even remember my son's first year of life. It was that challenging. And the thing about it that you have to realize your brain, your body, every little microscopic physiological and psychological change that happened while you were growing that precious gift. Your body actually changed. We're not talking about just the fact that you lost your lost your abs. We're not only talking about the development of stretch marks. And those stretch marks are so disrespectful. You're doing all the body butters to make sure that you know that they never come and then one day out of nowhere. Around if like week 35 or 36. There they go. We're not only talking about those. I see you, mama. I know that's hard. We're not only talking about the physical changes, but we're talking about the biological changes that happen. Your brain chemistry changes because as you are growing and nourishing that baby in your womb, your body is getting ready to become a mother. There's a beautiful quote that says, When a baby is born, so is a mother. And I think that leans into the fact that we are starting a new journey. And maybe we have our own mothers and we've seen the sacrifices that they made to get us where we are and support us sometimes daily and even now. Or maybe we're coming from a place where you lost your mother early, and you just had to figure out what it really looks like to be a mother, to raise a child, to continue to be tenacious, ambitious while trying to help a child thrive. It isn't easy. So when you feel like your brain is foggy when you feel like you can't remember, just know it's actually a part of the process. You can't help it. This is just what happened. Your brain was actually remodeled so that you could protect and care for your child. But another thing that I want to make sure that you know and that you're assured of is motherhood is not always innate. Motherhood is not always second nature. For some of us, it takes time for us to get into the role. For some of us, because we're overcoming generational trauma, it's it's hard for us to associate the role in a positive light. So if you are trying to figure out your role, just know that we're all trying to figure it out daily, even sometimes moment by moment. Here's another thing that a lot of us may not know. Especially in the beginning of your perinatal postnatal period. You are trying to feed that baby. Your body is trying to recover from all the hormonal shifts that happened during pregnancy. Okay? And because we're literally trying to survive, sometimes we're not getting everything that we need nutritionally as a mom. There's something called the postnatal depletion syndrome that really talks about what happens to a mother, not only physically, but also psychologically when we're depleted of essential nutrients such as zinc, magnesium, and iron. So there is an actual biological, physical reason why you may not feel like it today. Hormonally, recovering from all those shifts affect why you may not feel like it today. And if it ever feels so heavy, take a break, step away, put the baby down in a safe place, and remember you're not a bad person, you're not a bad mama, you're doing the right thing for yourself and for your child. For those of us that are raising toddlers, how are you? You went from the trenches of newborn to the wild wild west, and you're the sheriff. And that baby, that little one, oh boy, they think they're the sheriff. For those mamas in the wild, wild west, sending love, those babies are becoming more independent, trying to find autonomy, and of course, questioning authority. We're praying for your strength, your patience, and praying that you have continuous time to cherish these moments because we know that there's some other mamas that would pray for some of those developmental milestones to occur. For you, mama, a mama that is helping their child thrive through neurodevelopmental, temporary challenges is what I'm gonna say. We see you. You're loved, you're doing amazing. Every sacrifice is not unseen. Everything that you're doing to help that child thrive and help them become a functioning member of society will not go unnoticed, even though sometimes it may feel like it. You're amazing. You're amazing. To the mothers of school age children, preteens, teens, young adults. Wow, you have supported your child daily to the point where they've grown in so many different ways, socially, physically, academically. You're doing it. And for those with young adult children, or maybe those that have an empty nest, you did it. You did it. To the mama caring for a chronically or acutely ill child that has sacrificed and missed days at work to be at your child's bedside. Just know how amazingly strong you are, how resilient and brilliant you are, how every sacrifice is helping your child heal. And I pray the Lord's healing over that child, and I pray for your strength, and I love you for everything you've done. You're an inspiration. Motherhood is this unexpected journey filled with twists and turns and uncertainty sometimes. And it's like, how do we really hold on to hope for ourselves? Well, in this love letter, I'm going to affirm you with some practical things that you should do. One, make time for yourself. Even if it's a minute to just go outside for some fresh air, take and make time for yourself. Two, operate with grace. Grace and understanding that this journey isn't easy. Grace and understanding that you're doing your best. Grace and understanding that even though you're not you're not where you were before, it's okay to be in this current season. A season that you may feel lost, a season where you might be overcoming shame of a change in your identity. You need grace there because it's still a beautiful, beautiful journey, even in a season where things are slower. Or even if you had to pivot and pause. Grace. Reminding you also to operate with self-compassion. The same love that you give to your spouse, the same love that you give to your siblings and other family members and co-workers, and of course, the same love that you give to your baby. Honor yourself with that same love and compassion and understanding. Because being a mom takes a level of I don't even know what to say. So just know that you're doing it. And you should love yourself even through the messy times, even through the loads of laundry that are left undone, or the dishes that you didn't load into the dishwasher, or the not perfectly packed bento box lunches. Love yourself even through the mess because it's still beautiful. Set boundaries. You have to set boundaries. I went through most of my life being a people pleaser, an overthinker, and that's just the territory that comes with being a woman that has always strived for excellence. It's exhausting. And it took me to become a mother to finally set boundaries because the overwhelm and that invisible mental load that you carry, you know, that weight of to um of having to know all the doctor's appointments and know what's for dinner and remember your board meetings or your client proposals to send, you know, that mental load. Motherhood can be so overwhelming that if you don't set healthy boundaries, even with those you love, it can be a lot. So boundaries help us protect our peace, protect our joy, protect our strength. And it's essential to make them and stick by them. And along with boundaries is understanding when to drop the mom guilt. And that's something that I know we're working on daily. But it's okay if you needed to step out for a moment to breathe. It's okay if you still have to run those board meetings and you come home late some nights. It's okay if you have to spread your love to multiple children. It's okay if you went out with the girls that night. Let it go. Let go of that mom guilt. Because it's so essential that you remember to pour into yourself. Because a well mom is well for everyone else. If you are feeling lost, if you are feeling like the person you were is no longer here, that's okay. Give yourself permission to mourn her. She got you to this point. She got you to where you are now. Her tenacity, her grit, her poise, her resilience, her strength. She got you here, and she is still a part of your story. Your motherhood journey doesn't necessarily change who you are, but I'm reframe reframing it to believe that your motherhood journey is a catalyst to who you're becoming. Every skill that you're learning through this journey, multitasking, being a nurse, a doctor, oh what else? Sometimes you have to be the kid's lawyer, sometimes you have to, you know, be the mechanic and problem solver. All those things, all those amazing challenges that we face daily is character building. Character building. So it's okay if you were a six-figure earner and now you're not. It's okay if you used to travel the world and now you're not. It's okay if you used to be a size six and now you're not. It's just a now. It's a season. It's not forever. Even though sometimes it may feel like it. Even though that identity shift feels so gut-wrenching. It is a season to pour into not only that beautiful child or children you're raising, but into yourself. If you were used to going a million miles per hour and now your foot is completely on the break and you've stopped, take this time to take it all in. Every little sneeze and snuggle, every little new milestone. Take the time to let it set settle in that the woman you were before may not be the woman that you see now in that mirror. But that woman is still strong, is still beautiful, is still love, is still resilient, is still amazingly intelligent, is still that girl. You may not feel like it, but you are. You are. You're still crowned with ambition and ordained with accolades. You are still rewriting history and proving the naysayers wrong. You are still in a league of your own. You are still your ancestors' wildest dreams. You may be asking yourself so many different questions. Where did I go? How did I get here? Why did I choose to leave a stable career? Am I good enough? Can I start over again? You may not have all the answers, but the answer that I want to tell you is that you are still good enough. You are worthy. You are precious as rubies. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And even though things may seem like the world is on fire because sometimes it feels like it actually is. You have everything within you to be more than a conqueror. And even on the days where you don't feel like you have everything altogether or the strength to push through and be okay and be the strong one, lean in to support systems. Maybe you're doing this on your own. To the single mamas out there, we see you. We see how you are paving the way for your children. We see how you are overcoming what society may think would have caused you to stop and give up. Thank you. You are loved, you are amazing, you're an inspiration. You still have a community around you that loves you. Get tied in with other moms. Sometimes this journey can be so lonely, but it doesn't have to be. I know we're tired. But get connected because what I realized is that when I was around other moms, going through the same thing, going through the same story, sharing stories, I felt better. Because I didn't feel like I was actually going through this on my own. That there were other brilliant, resilient women in transition, just like me. I also want to say thank you to the mother figures out there. Maybe you didn't birth that child that you're caring for or that you mentor, but you are so essential to their generational legacy. So thank you to this special community that I call the momties, the aunties that are mother figures, or the adopted mothers, or the grandmothers, to the woman that cries every Mother's Day because they're waiting for their answered prayer. I was there sending so much love and strength as you wait. To the IVF warriors, you're amazing. What you endure, your strength has no bounds. To those navigating loss, whether loss of a child or loss of a parent during this time, just know that you are loved, supported, and seen. Praying for your strength, peace, and comfort. This is a community. Motherhood is a beautiful journey that is incredibly hard, sometimes incredibly thankless. But what I realize is that every time I look back and see what I've overcome during this journey, I smile. I smile with gratitude because I made it through some of the hardest times. Even when while I was going through it, I didn't know how I was gonna get to the other side. So just know as you continue to persevere and get the support you need. There are amazing perinatal mental health specialists out there that specialize in supporting mothers while they're trying to conceive, while they're actually pregnant, and after they've had the baby. There are specialists out there that will support you and give you the tools you need to continue to adapt through this journey that can be very challenging. If you find yourself questioning the thoughts that you're having, ever find yourself in crisis, remember that are that there are resources like the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, where there's someone always there on the line, ready to talk to you. If you feel like you can't always reach out to family, because sometimes family may not not always see your loved, you're loved. So I leave you with this. Yes, that identity may feel like it's gone. That's okay. I want you to hold on to this. Say goodbye to that girl, say goodbye to that woman, and say hello, warrior. Remember to anchor yourself in the things that revitalize your faith and remind you of the value and power that you truly possess. Your light, a vessel for birth and rebirth. As you extend grace to others, don't forget yourself. You're not failing, you're flourishing, creating a pathway for everyone you encounter as they are changed in the presence of your brilliance and the renewed version of you. Take care. I love you very deeply. Please share this episode with another mom that may feel lost, may feel like they don't know what's going on. Remember, this is a community where we can all heal together, where we can focus on our wellness, mind, body, and soul. And where this journey, even though it's a bumpy one, we want to make sure that it's not a lonely one. So tap in, share, subscribe, and take care.