Postpartum, Entrepreneurship and Losing Yourself: How to Find Your Way Back to Creativity and Purpose with Bee Trofort-Wilson

What happens when the woman who has always been ambitious, creative, and driven suddenly enters a season she cannot fully control?

In this heartfelt episode of Musings of a Geriatric Mama, host Kedna Amey sits down with photographer, educator, podcaster, wife, and mother Bee Trofort-Wilson for an honest conversation about postpartum life, entrepreneurship, identity, marriage, and the pressure to keep producing after becoming a mom.

Bee shares why motherhood has been harder than running a business and how returning to photography helped her reconnect with the confident, creative woman she was afraid of losing. She opens up about the realities of breastfeeding and pumping while working, carrying the invisible mental load, communicating with her husband, asking for help, and learning to release the expectation of perfect balance.

Together, Kedna and Bee explore what it means to honor the woman you were before motherhood while making room for the woman you are becoming. They also discuss why a slower season does not mean your dreams are over. It may simply be an invitation to restructure, rediscover your gifts, and create in a new way.

This episode is for every mother who has ever wondered whether she can be deeply devoted to her family and still desire purpose, creativity, and success for herself.

Motherhood may change your capacity, your timeline, and even your definition of productivity—but it does not have to erase your identity.

 Key  Topics

Balancing motherhood and entrepreneurship
Postpartum recovery and mental health
Maintaining creative energy and passion
The importance of community and support
Embracing seasons of slow growth and grace

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Motherhood and Entrepreneurship
03:20 The Intersection of Ambition and Motherhood
09:01 Navigating the Challenges of Motherhood
12:11 The Importance of Self-Care in Motherhood
16:20 Postpartum Realities for Entrepreneurs
20:23 Creating a Community: Baby Bump and Business
22:26 The Creative Journey of Motherhood
26:03 Reconnecting with Purpose Through Art
29:56 Balancing Motherhood and Creativity
33:27 The Myth of Work-Life Balance
37:17 Communication and Support in Parenting
50:16 Embracing Change and Growth in Motherhood

Connect With Bee

Follow Baby Bump and Business on Instagram and listen on your favorite podcast platform.

Connect with Bee through Be Fearless Studios and find her photography work in Atlanta and Miami.

Are you trying to navigate motherhood, identity, ambition and everything in between?

Subscribe and Download Musings of a Geriatric Mama for more honest conversations that help ambitious women feel seen, supported and empowered through pregnancy, postpartum and motherhood beyond 35.

Share this episode with a mother who needs permission to slow down without giving up on herself.

Remember to subscribe, leave a review and connect with us for more conversations about motherhood, wellness, faith, identity and purposeful living.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Motherhood is is much harder than running a business. And it's and it's been one of those things for me. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There isn't a a pr a rule book of how to do it right. I tried my best to not lose my identity by remembering who I was, but also understanding that I can say that in the past tense. And like that's, you know, that's what mommy used to do, where that I also know that my strength is who I am as a creative. My strength is who I am as an artist.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

And welcome to Muslim of a geriatric model, where we discuss all things millennial and motherhood. This is not your average show where we romanticize being a mom, but rather a place where we keep it real while guiding you through restorative living and welcome. My body. Here you'll find impactful insights on high-achieving thoughts of other figures. Navigating life is exhaustive, yet simultaneously awarded. You may laugh or cry and even possibly pee yourself. So do a keegle or two and hold on to your speed. It's going to be a fucking ride, but it doesn't have to be a fucking ride. I'm your host, Ketna Emma, and thank you for the Welcome back to Musings of a Geriatric Mama. I'm your host, Ketna M, and I'm so glad that you are here. Today will be such an impactful conversation that not only expecting moms can get some uh wisdom from, but also moms that are already in the trenches when it comes to trying to balance business as well as motherhood. So without further ado, I would love to introduce B. Trofort Wilson, who is a multi-passionate creative, commercial photographer, educator, podcaster, wife, and mother, navigating the powerful intersection of motherhood and entrepreneurship. She is the host of Baby Bump and Business, a podcast where motherhood meets entrepreneurship in its most honest form. Through candid conversations with inspiring creative mothers mothers, B explores pregnancy, postpartum, scaling businesses, sleepless nights, marketing strategies, and the beautiful, the beautifully messy reality of building a family and a brand at the same time. With a heart for storytelling and community, creates spaces where women feel seen, supported, and empowered to thrive in both motherhood and business without sacrificing their identity, ambition, or creativity. She is proof that you can grow a bump and a business simultaneously and do it with grace. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for that intro. You are very welcome. I mean, clearly you're an impactful visionary, and I feel so blessed to have you here because what I love, and I have to give you some of your flowers beforehand, is the fact that you you have the desire to tell the truth about what it means to still hold on to this ambitious version of yourself while leaning into a new role of motherhood. And I think that it's helpful when we do have these honest conversations because it kind of demystifies motherhood. And instead of romanticizing it because we know motherhood can be messy, we're telling the truth because I think, you know, they say cliche, the truth shall set you free, but that is the truth. And I think the more that we have these candid conversations, it'll help. More moms navigating those the more challenging times of motherhood, it kind of helps them realize that they're not alone if it does get challenging. So I'm so glad that you're here, and I'm so glad that we'll be able to have this conversation. And before we get into the essence of who you are and how your journey has been, I always like to start off with talking about who you were before motherhood. So before motherhood, what did ambition look like for you? And then how did that eventually lead into your motherhood journey?

SPEAKER_01 4:18

So for me, ambition for me means um just being fearless. So my brand is Be Fearless Studios, Be Fearless and Create. And for me, it was just always going into life, just trying to be fearless, even if I wasn't sure what the future would hold, just going after whatever it may look like, and hopefully it turns out the way that it should. Um even I know we spoke about this briefly, but coming from a Haitian and Caribbean background, wanting to be a photographer was something that a lot of my family did not believe was a real job or a real passion, you know?

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

And being blessed to be able to still follow and navigate that footsteps. And my career has been just a blessing of God because I never even saw it being what it is now. So I've just been so grateful that I stuck to it, um, that I was fearless, that I was ambitious. And even though I wasn't sure what it would look like, God definitely planted the steps for me. So to be here is just a blessing. And moving into motherhood, it has definitely made me, I wouldn't say reconsider my goals, but it's definitely opened up the possibilities of what my goals could be, as well as knowing that I don't have to necessarily close my goals for good. I remember when people found out that I was pregnant, a lot of people were like, So are you gonna stop shooting? And I'm like, why would I stop shooting? Like, why would I stop my career or my job that I've been doing full time? And it's always funny because my husband never got those questions. It was always like, So are you gonna slow down? Are you gonna stop? Are you gonna, you know, what is that gonna look like? And I think that goes to say, it's sad that women, when we become, when we get into this new role of motherhood, people forget the journey that it took for us to get there and they think that it should just stop. And it's like, okay, yeah, you did what you needed to do within your career. Now it's time to sit home and be a stay-at-home mom. And I'm like, that was never the plans for me. And my husband knows that for sure. I am not a stay-at-home woman. Um so um, but for me now, it's just I have conversations with my daughter every day where it's just like, you know, even if I'm going to work, mommy's going to go to work today, and everything that I'm doing is to build your life, you know, and everything I'm doing is for you. And I don't know what that's going to look like in the next five, 10, 15, 20 years. But now it's just made me cherish the time that I have more at home. Um, but also figuring out just different ways of balancing what this can look like and what my goals, even if they they may not change fully, but if I just adjust it a little bit to know that even if I don't reach it fully, that I'm still satisfied with what I've been able to accomplish.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

You said so many amazing things, and I'm gonna try my best to unpack it. So, one of the things I heard you say is that ambition was a driving force that helped you to continue to pivot when your motherhood journey did actually start, right? And I think that it's beautiful to still be able to hold on to an aspect of you uh and and be authentic to who you are. Like loud and clear, you're like, I'm ambitious. Motherhood is a beautiful aspect of who I am, but doesn't necessarily fully define you. Because for a lot of us, motherhood creates an identity shift. And for many ambitious women, that identity shift kind of takes them off guard, you know, because it's like you realize that you've always been going maybe a 100 miles per hour. And when you become a mother, you realize that okay, maybe I need to slow down a little bit, or I need to create something that works for where I am and who I'm becoming anyway, right? So I love the fact that you still leaned into the fact that you are ambitious, you are creative, it is a part of who I am. Motherhood is also another facet of who I am. It doesn't fully define me or you know, it doesn't fully define me, but it's a beautiful part of me that is a part of the the becoming of the next version of myself and the next things that I want to do for myself and my business and my family. From day to day, you can't plan for these, you know, the things that come about. So it's like, how do I pivot with purpose? How do I also create a life and find harmony in the life that I want and also honor the woman that I was? So it's just it's just beautiful trying to figure out that that balance. I think it's a challenge for a lot of us. And I would love to hear like, did you always envision motherhood alongside of entrepreneurship? Or was it like, I don't know what to do next?

SPEAKER_01 9:03

It was uh, I don't know what to do next. But it was also if I could have waited, I would have waited a couple more years, you know. But my husband had baby fever and he's an Olympic athlete, and I made the promise that after Paris Olympics we would try. Yeah. And I was I was a little upset that I said it out loud because I have to actually stay true to it. Um, but it was also one of like my mom's a hairstylist, you know, and so I've been able to kind of see what that was like on the entrepreneurship end. In my mind, I never really thought or planned about like what is that gonna look like for me, you know. Like I knew that I wanted to get married and I knew that I wanted to have kids, but I never thought about what that actually looked like because I was so driven within my career and my goals and where I wanted to go with my business. And then once time came, it was like, oh wait, we're really doing this. And it's like, oh wait, we're really here. And it's like, okay, and it was it was one of those things where um I tell people all the time that motherhood is much harder than running a business. And it's and it's been one of those things for me, it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's been the most challenging thing I've ever had to do. Um, and I've had to learn to give myself grace in this process because there isn't a rule book of how to do it right, you know? And so it's been one of those things of I I tried my best to not lose my identity by remembering who I was, but also understanding that I can say that in the past tense, and like that's you know, that's what mommy used to do with that. But I also know that my strength is who I am as a creative, my strength is who I am as an artist. And the first job I did after having my daughter was three and a half weeks after having her. And my husband was mad, and I was like, I need to do this because I need it for me. So and it wasn't just like, yeah, of course, you know, I'm a Capricorn, I love making money, and I, you know, but for me, it was I need to go somewhere where I feel like me. I need to go somewhere where I feel confident and where I feel whole. And behind my camera is where I feel the most confident. I know what I'm doing, I can troubleshoot, I can figure that out with no stress, you know, and being able to go away and do this job for two hours, I felt like I was able to come back home with a little bit more confidence, going back into motherhood. And that was something that reminded me in that process that even if I feel unsure of what I'm doing in this journey, remember who I am and remember to go into those places to make myself feel whole if I need to fill my cup up. You know, and I know oftentimes we it's all it's hard to think about how to fill our cups, and we always feel like we need someone else to fill it for us, you know. Like when we're when we're dating, you know, find the man that's gonna feel, you know, find the man that's gonna make you happy. And it's like, no, no, no, I need to be able to fill it for myself. So during these moments, I know what I need to do for me to be able to rejuvenate and then come back into this motherhood swinging because I'm like, okay, I got the energy now. I feel like me again. Okay, I know, I know who B is. Okay, let's tackle this.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Yes. All right. I mean, a lot of us when we're we're in the new, in the the trenches, they say, the and and it's hard to like fulfill, I should say, the need of our our own needs, like to fulfill our own needs, okay, to clarify. Because we are so committed to making sure that our baby thrives, right? And sometimes we forget about ourselves. So the fact that you're like, no, I just need this two hours to remember, remember who I am, pour into myself to be revitalized so that I can be a better present whole mother, wife, sister, friend. It's so important because I always say this: a whole me and a better me is better for everyone else. When we do pour into our own cup, it's easier for us to continue to give. But when we're pouring from an empty cup, we're left spent, overwhelmed, burnt out, anxious, and dissatisfied. A lot of people may not get why I created this platform and this podcast. This community is mother-centric, you know, because after the postpartum period, you're like flooded with all these baby guides and how to take care of baby and how to take care of this and balancing this and this and that. And I'm like, we need a space for the mother. So this community is mother-centric because I realize if we are well, then we can continue to have a home that's thriving because we're poured into. So I love the fact that you did that so freshly postpartum, because it speaks to understanding the importance of wellness in the postpartum recovery process, right? So a lot of moms, and if there's some new moms listening, your body goes through so much. Ungrowing the baby, and two, when the baby is finally here, the postpartum period and recovery, new articles are saying can actually last up to six years to fully be recovered, to fully be restored. That we're talking about not only mentally, but we're talking about hormonally. Okay, because there's so many hormonal shifts that happen if you're breastfeeding, or as you're, you know, running around and depleting your energy, a lot of essential nutrients and vitamins are depleted. And what I've been researching is that there's something called the postnatal depletion syndrome, where because of all the things our body is going through to recover, if we're missing a central nutrients such as zinc, magnesium, iron, it can actually increase our chances of postpartum conditions such as postpartum anxiety, depression, or baby blue. So actually pouring into yourself mentally, physically, and nutritionally is imperative for you to continue to be the best version of you as a mother so that you're the best version for everyone else around you. And I just love the fact that you honored who you are and what you needed for yourself to continue to thrive because we know postpartum can be so challenging for many of us. So, what actually surprised you most about postpartum as an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Multiple things. I feel like I, you know, I've had a lot of conversations with women, and the delivery was one thing I was like, okay, I was I was in the room for my twin sister when she gave birth. So I already knew the trauma that that was going to have, right? But I was not prepared for after you have a baby naturally, how you won't be able to walk, how you won't be able to sit, how you won't be able to do, you know, and then also I didn't understand or I didn't really have a much knowledge about pumping, you know, where it's like, okay, if you're going back to work, now you have to pump. And how are you going to now? Now for me, my mind is always racing of okay, when do I have time to pump while I'm shooting? If I'm shooting all day, if I'm doing a live sport, okay, am I gonna be able to store my milk or am I gonna have to throw it or discard it? You know, and all these different things you have to consider. But then for usually, you know, you just go to work, you come home, you're done. But now it's like I had a um uh 11-hour event yesterday, and I literally had to figure out okay, during what time can I actually dip away to pump? And it's like, oh, do I have access to a cooler? Do I have access to a fridge? Do I have access to ice and all these different things? And it's like now, as an entrepreneur, you have to think about all these other things, additional things whenever you're working now, whenever you're planning now. Um, so that's definitely those are those are the two main things that have I wish I had a little bit more knowledge of or I had more preparation going into it. Like here's some things to expect outside of just parenting, you know, outside of just having a newborn, here are things outside of that that you're gonna have to consider or add into your work-life balance because now these are things you have to do in order to be able to feed your child and to be able to have milk stored so that if someone has to watch your daughter and if you're doing if you're breastfeeding exclusively, but you have a bottle, that you're able to have milk for them and all these different things. And that was something that threw me for a loop, and it's still, I'm like, whoo, six months in, and it's like, oh my gosh, we're we're still doing this.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Oh my goodness. That I mean, I don't think many of us think about that, you know. I don't and and I don't think, I don't think we have this conversation enough. Because as you're you're telling me though that story, I'm like, oh my gosh, that is so true. How do you actually schedule around, you know, such an intense workday, you know, where you may not always have the opportunity to get away, but you you have to try to the plan so that you can continue to provide nourishment for your child that's growing. And I'm happy that we're making space and I'm happy that we're having these conversations so that maybe the next generation or the next group of expecting moms that are entrepreneurs, we can figure it out together. Because there is strategy behind, you know, balancing business and motherhood. But the thing is, it's never gonna be this perfect playbook, right? But I think if we have these candid conversations, we can at least provide insights and figure it out as a community because motherhood from day to day is a roller coaster at times. But I think that that perspective is just essential for us to find ways to have more conversations, provide strategy, mentor, because it's it can impact so much. And I know that your journey through motherhood was one of the reasons why that you actually started to build your own community. So, could we talk a little bit more about what inspired you to start baby bump and business?

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Yes. So when I first found out that I was pregnant, so this is actually our second pregnancy. Our first one, we sadly had a miscarriage. And so this one was going into last year. Um, once we after we, you know, we healed and did everything that we needed to do, we decided to start again. And then my first trimester came, and I this is the first time I had fear, right? Like I had all the you know, symptoms of like nausea, fatigue, all these different things. And I literally was like, if I cannot work for the remainder of this year, what am I going to do? And that was was scary. You know, I usually know, especially as a sports photographer, you kind of know what type of jobs you usually will get hired for around what time, based on the different seasons and things like that. And I literally was like, if I cannot work, what am I going to do? And also, why aren't we having this conversation more? And I remember after one of my jobs, um, I was in North Carolina. I had reached out to a photographer and I was like, Can I call you? And she was like, Yeah, sure. And I called her and I was like, So I'm pregnant and I need help. And she's like, Oh, what's going on? And I knew that she had kids. So we just had like a nice transparent conversation of like what that journey looked like for her. And then that was when it was like, you know what, we need to have this conversation more often, especially within this creative entrepreneurship field, because there's a lot of things that we don't know and we don't know where to look. You know, like I was Googling and not anyone was really talking about it. And so that's kind of what birthed um baby bump in business because I just started reaching out to my peers and I'm like, you know what, we need to record this conversation. So I actually I recorded in my third trimester, I recorded 18 episodes. Wow. It was a lot, but it was also because I had slowed down with work, it filled me up because I had something that I it still gave me a project to do. It had it gave me something to be able to leave the house and work towards and feel like I was still creating something. Um, so that was one of those things where it's like, you know what? I know I can't move as much as I want to, but I know I can sit down and have a conversation. So that's what birth baby bump in business is, and it's definitely been a blessing because I've been able to connect with so many amazing women, learn so many things from their stories that have even helped me within this new journey of motherhood. And I'm just so grateful for everyone that has just decided to share space with me. So beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

I I love that. When there is so a creator has to create, a creator has to create in one way or another. And I always say this we were created by a creator, so being creative is in us, we just gotta be able to tap into it. And what I loved is how you were able to pivot because you realize you still needed to feed that person who you are, right? You are creative through and through, and you were able to marry uh those journeys together in such an impactful way because these conversations are not necessarily had, and you niche down to the creative. Entrepreneur, because that's in and of itself such a roller coaster navigating entrepreneurship as a creative. Because you know, our work sometimes can be seasonal. You're in sports, so I'm sure you know that changes from you know day to day, month to month, season to season. And I love the fact that you still poured into a side of you that you realize that you have to nourish, you have to make sure that you're um growing in some way creatively. And I share, uh I share one of the uh similar stories in the fact that at some point last year I did shut down my business to kind of focus in on family. And during that time, during that moment of like more stillness, I was able to finally do something that I've been putting off for years, and that is this podcast. So no matter where you are in your creative journey, and for you in your motherhood journey, there's still beauty in creating something new as you were waiting and continue to create life in your body. So you birthed so many beautiful things, and I love that. And what I realized is that becoming a mother actually affected in a positive way how I decided to create as a photographer as well, because I fell in love with how resilient women are, and I wanted to capture that as like as much as possible. So I leaned into motherhood and maternity photography when I finally transitioned into full-time photography because I was so in love with what it takes to really go through a motherhood journey and birth a child and recover and continue to try to maintain ourselves. So I'm so inspired by women like you and women daily that are just doing the thing because motherhood can be so challenging at times. So I just wanted to know how did motherhood influence your art and photography?

SPEAKER_01 24:04

So for me, um, I definitely agree with everything you said about being able to honor women. It's definitely, I mean, I've always within my work, I've always tried to amplify women in a positive light. I never tried to sexualize them. I always wanted to show beauty and strength, whether it's mentally, physically. And that's kind of how I got into sports photography as a whole. I love that. But for me, now it's made me, it's made me reconnect with my why. And I say that in regards to understanding that life is an experience, but also when you're able to capture it, these are memories that you're gonna be able to cherish for the rest of your life, you know. And whenever I'm working with people now, even no matter who my subject is, I try to think about, you know, this is an experience that they're never going to get ever again. And working with me, I want that to be an experience. And motherhood actually amplified that because for me, I photographed my daughter every single day. I've tried to make it a thing, it's something I learned from another photographer just to you know document the journey every day. But seeing how fast she's grown in six months, it's made me be able to appreciate and cherish those photos I took back then. And so now, whenever I'm working with people, I have that play within my mindset of every image that I'm gonna create that they're gonna be able to look back on this memory in a certain type of way. And what experience do I want them to be able to reflect on? Do I want them to think about a negative experience or a positive experience and always positive? So it's definitely made me reconsider just the value that art brings, no matter who you're creating with, but just the value of what it is that you're creating.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

Absolutely. One of the things that I used to say as well is that, you know, we want to create a legacy that lasts a lifetime. For some people, like we talked and we joked about earlier our Caribbean parents not understanding photography as something that is substantial and something that is impactful, and something that you can build generational wealth and financial freedom from. But people don't understand that despite it seem seemingly to be a luxury, photography is so beautiful when it comes to preserving legacy. Um, something that I was leaning to more um these past couple of years as our parents are aging is capturing, um capturing what I call legacy sessions where we capture generations. Like I had this one session, it was great grandmother, grandmother, mother, and the baby. And I was like, this is so beautiful. Photography isn't this superficial thing, it is an art. And people are going to be able to look back when their ancestors are no longer here or their family is no longer here and be like, and remember the beauty of the time that they had with their family their loved ones. And it's so imperative what we do. And what I love is that we're women creating this legacy in such a male-dominated field. And I just want to definitely honor that because preserving the beauty of experiences of women through the different life cycles, where they're killing it on a volleyball team or they're becoming a mother or they're starting their own business, it's important that we're behind the lens, capturing the woman's experience authentically as well. I just want to know like, how do you find time or figure out how to protect your creative energy in the midst of parenting?

SPEAKER_01 27:22

So I've had to force myself to do it. For me, it's it's typical, like when you're running a business, right? You always have to learn to pivot, but you're also having strategy sessions, whether it's with your team members, whether it's just with you, yourself, and ChatGBT, you know? But for me, I've really found that I've had to. Motherhood made me more organized. I'm already, I'm a Capricorn, I'm very organized, I'm very strategic with everything. But it's it's heightened it even worse. And I feel sorry for my husband, but I'm like, I'm a calendar girl. Like everything is somewhere, it's organized. Um, but for me, I've really had to put time into being like, you know what, B, you need to do this, so let's let's plan out time to do it. Even now I'm in the season of wanting to go back and do test shoots and just having fun reading behind the camera. So I've actively put myself on a challenge of I have to do a certain amount per month. I'm, you know, creating my mood boards and things like that, and actually making it a challenge for myself to know that even if I don't complete anything else, if I'm able to do this challenge, I've been able to complete something. So for me, it's also just you know, continuing to challenge myself, not just as a creative and as an entrepreneur, but just as a human as a whole, and knowing that, you know, the older that my daughter gets, we're still going to be pivoting in different ways. So whatever I can control is my business and what I create. So let me focus on still being able to put time to do that and put time to still enjoy the art that I'm creating and creating the art that I love to create. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

And I think that you touched on so many valuable points when it comes to entrepreneurship and what you know many call the CEO mindset. And that's time blocking. One of the strategies, one of the strategies that are imperative to being successful in business or trying to continue to create boundaries for successful entrepreneurship is something called time blocking or or habit stacking. I've been listening to this book called Atomic Habits, and it talks about stacking other habits onto one another so that you can get more done. So I think a part of successful entrepreneurship, even as a mother, is creating those time blocks so that you can successfully accomplish things as much as you can. Because we know that motherhood is a roller coaster and you we're trying to balance. That's another word that a lot of people are like, what is this life balance? But you know, work life balance. But we are trying to accomplish that the best that we can. So strategically planning out blocks of time and being intentional with setting personal goals along with business goals, along with family goals, I think that can definitely help when things can be very unpredictable in motherhood and in business at times itself. Do you actually believe that balance exists or what's your take on that? Because it's a hot topic. A lot of people are trying to call it work-life harmony. Um, but what do you what do you have to say about balancing it all or doing it all or having it all? I don't think that it exists.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

And that's something that a lot of people have said, like, there's no such thing as balance. Um, but for me, I've have looked at it from the perspective of I actually, one of the guests I just had, she said, you know, split your time into quarters. So like if you if you work in sports, you know, like there's a first quarter, second quarter, third quarter, fourth quarter. Um, but for me, what I found is instead of like searching for balance, searching for to be what makes sense at the time. You know, knowing that every week is going to be different and just trying to plan it day by day. Like, okay, this week I know that I have this amount on my plate. What am I able to do? What can I do? And if I can fill this in, I'm gonna fill it in. And if not, we're just gonna push it to the next week. But still just being able to prioritize, like knowing what are my main priorities? My main priorities is, of course, my child, and of course, spending time with my husband. And then when it comes to my business, what are my business priorities and how do I need to show up this week in my business? And just being able to do that. So I haven't figured out the balance because every day is different, every week is different. She is not on a nap schedule, although we have tried. So it's like, you know, we we just figure it out, you know? And being okay with um for me, I've had to find joy in knowing, like, you know what, this is a season that we're in. And as much as I would want to be on control, where it's like you go to bed at this time and all these different things, being okay with like, you know what, it's gonna be part of her story that I get to like talk about and tease her when she gets older, like, girl, you didn't, you know, for 10 minutes this day, and you know, so and just for me, it's just giving myself grace, like knowing if okay, if she takes a short nap and I can't get what I need to get done, just do as much as I can during that time.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

I completely agree with that. You said so many valuable things that I'd love to just kind of get into a little bit more. So, one of the things that you led with was grace, and I think that that is so important for us to practice grace when it comes to being an ambitious woman. So the thing about it is when you're ambitious, when you're goal-driven-driven, when you're high earning, your life was likely planned out by the time you were like 12, right? You do by this age, I was gonna do this, and you know, I'm gonna do this at this time, and and motherhood can be a complete gut check, okay? Because what I realized is that from day to day, even moment to moment, things can expectedly change. So I think that a lot of what people may not completely understand is there's so much of a mindset shift that has to occur as an ambitious woman that becomes a mother, because a lot of us we hold on to this thing called perfectionism. And what I realize is that perfectionism may not necessarily help when it comes to motherhood. Because if we hold on to it, and when things may not necessarily go as we planned, then we may feel like we're failing. And the truth is you're not failing. The truth is you haven't failed. The truth is that moment by moment, those little pivots are necessary for you to continue to survive and actually help your child grow and thrive. And leading with grace, as you said, is so essential to us like continuing to grow our motherhood muscle. Let's just say it like that. Because if we if we don't shift our minds to, okay, we'll just deal with what we can, we'll just kind of go with the flow, we're gonna feel like we're failing. And it's not that, you know, it's not that. It's the fact that motherhood requires even micro pivots from moment to moment. Sometimes I'll I used to say, I'll even take it moment by moment, let alone minute by minute, because it's just like so many things can happen, and we're managing so many things at the same time. And then you add entrepreneurship on top of that. You know, mothers already deal with something that we call the invisible mental load, which is us literally having to manage everything from doctor's appointments to grocery lists, and in our cases, businesses, right? And you have staff and you have a studio that you're actively running, and then you have like, you know, you have a shoot schedules that are demanding. There's so much to undertake that if we don't operate with grace and this other beautiful thing called self-compassion, which is just honoring yourself and providing yourself love just like you would anyone else, it can make the journey harder. So having, you know, a flexible mind in hey, balance may not be may not be achieved perfectly, but you're embracing your season, your current season. You said that so beautifully with grace, you know, and I love that. And you also mentioned something about like making time for what matters most and prioritizing things. And for us, in this case, you know, we have partnership that we have to consider. I think that sometimes we can get lost in motherhood or entrepreneurship that sometimes our other ships fail. And one of those ships is partnership with uh our spouse. So, how has partnership played a role in sustaining both motherhood and business? And what advice can you give to those that maybe having some difficulty balancing partnership and entrepreneurship?

SPEAKER_01 35:53

I would say motherhood has definitely shaken things up, but it's also forced us to communicate a little bit more. You know, I know you spoke previously about like the mental overload, and I think that it's hard for men to really understand everything that a woman goes through after giving birth, right? Where, like you said, our mind is running a thousand miles a minute all day, every day, whether we're planning for our work, whether we're planning for our child, just even planning for okay, groceries. It's her diaper bag ready. Is everything in the diaper bag? Do we need clothes? Does she need this? Does she need that? Your mind is always going a mile a minute, and then also your body is working 24-7 to produce food, right? And because of that, mentally you're tired, physically, you're tired. My tolerance level is this big. And with even with my partner, it's like, sir, like my tolerance level is here. So if you do anything, it's gonna feel like here, you know, and we've had to really communicate a little bit more. And that's something that I no matter where you are within your relationship, communication is gonna be the key. Even if it's hard to communicate for me, I've shut down because I've been so overwhelmed. And my coping mechanism is either work or shut down, or both simultaneously, right? And it's like understanding what are your coping methods, but understanding what you have to do for yourself and for your relationship. What me and my husband started doing, we used to do uh weekly date nights. So once a week, Wednesdays were like our date nights every single week. And then once we got further within our pregnancy, we stopped it because I got too big. Um, and I didn't want to go anywhere, see anybody. Um, and then after having the baby, you know, you didn't want to take her out or anything like that. But we now started to actively get back to doing that. So I would just say have have open communication, have open dialogue, even if it's not easily received, because you I mean, that's part of marriage or just communicating with anybody, um, but then also going back to giving yourself grace, right? Like you're in a season where you don't know who you are. Like some days I wake up and I'm not sure who I am, and I'm trying to remember who, you know, who I am and who I was and where I'm going. And you know, it is gonna be stressful, it is gonna be hard, and it is gonna be challenging. And the hardest thing is trying to explain it to someone who does not understand it, you know. And as much as you want you would want our your husband or um, you would want them to understand, it's gonna be hard for them, you know, because they're not the one pushing, they weren't the one carrying, they will be the one supporting, but there's also only so much that they can do. So if you need more support, whether it's changing the diapers or whatever, ask for it, you know, and then also have a village. Have a village that you can complain to, have a village that you can cry to, have a village that you can, is it all made or is it just mine, you know, or you know, have a village of is it your baby or is it just mine, you know? Have that village because that village is gonna help you. Indeed, indeed.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

And no, you know, uh what I realize is um and like through through sharing, right? And through community building, we realize that we're we're not alone. I just remember seeing certain posts on like social media, and then you go to the comments and they're like, Are we married to the same person? Like, it's like, okay, okay. But if we don't say anything, then we will feel alone in the journey. Thank you again for your candid uh uh vulnerability because I think that, well, one, this is a safe space, and I and and I know a lot of our listeners and viewers may be going through a time where they are feeling lost, especially in that initial postpartum period where you are just so focused on making sure that your child is adequately thriving and meeting milestones, whether that you're, you know, exclusively pumping or you're, you know, exclusively breastfeeding or you're providing formula for your child, you know. We're so hyper-focused on that that we do lose a sense of self because everything has shifted. The priority is making sure that a tiny human being thrives and continues to meet milestones and grow and and love on them and create a safe environment. And I realize that sometimes in that shift of identity, the priorities are they they change. And sometimes the honest truth is the relationship will or can highly take a backseat because now the relationship has even evolved because you went from being partners to parents, and parenting with your partner is another journey in and of itself because you may have, I think we talked about this at some point, different parenting styles, or we may have had different childhood experiences that mold who we are as parents, and then merging those two parenting styles together is something to overcome in and of itself. But you said something that was so valid and so valuable and essential, and that's communication, and that is expressing your needs. And I think a lot of us needed to hear it because as independent women and ambitious women who may have, you know, before we found partnership, used to be the goal getter, the goal setter, the, you know, the woman that got things in charge and we got into partnership. Like it's hard for us to receive help. It's hard for us to receive help. But I think in what I'm learning, even in my five years in this into this journey, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to let people know what you need, because especially if you're the strong friend or the strong one, people may not even think you're in need because you just get things done anyway. But the truth is we all can use a little bit of support, whether that's just someone folding clothes while you nurse the baby, or that is someone that you know takes the kid out to uh to the park so that you can get a session done or take a consultation or write a dissertation wherever you are in your journey. It's so important. And I love that we can be honest about the truth of partnership, parenting, and trying to to balance that, but making the time for one another, as you mentioned, it's important, you know, even if it's like okay, date night used to be at a beautiful restaurant. Now it's just when the baby sleeps, we're having a movie night and we're having pasta, you know, together, but still creating creating that time. So I love that that you talked about that. And before we definitely close, because we're coming to to that time, what what would you tell a pregnant entrepreneur or um an entrepreneur early in their motherhood journey? What would you tell them um when it comes to maybe the fear of losing momentum? Say embrace the slow season.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

And in that slow season, find joy within it. You know, so for me in that slow season, although I wasn't physically working, my mind was working. So I utilized that time to restructure, to rebuild, to plan, to think about what wasn't working and what could be working, or how do I need to restructure my business, or what goals do I really are really important for me to want to meet, or what gross goals can I put to the back burner? But then also reflecting on all of the gifts that you have. You know, oftentimes we put our gifts in the backseat because we're so focused or we're so driven on one certain thing that you don't realize what other opportunities are out there for you to still expand on your skill set. So I would say to that photo, whether you're a creative entrepreneur, photographer, whatever it is, utilize that slow season as a way to just expand yourself as a woman, expand yourself as a new mother, expand yourself as a business owner, expand yourself as an entrepreneur, and just know that it's not going to last long. I mean, I'm six months in and I'm still I'm still working. I'm Haven't stopped working. I haven't really I've slowed down a little bit, but not to the point where anyone can see the difference. Um, and just know that you can structure it the way that you need to structure it for yourself and give yourself grace while you're figuring it out. Give yourself grace of you're continuing to give yourself grace in this season of change because every day it's ch it's gonna change, your body's gonna change, your mind's gonna change, your business is gonna change, your clients are gonna change, but embrace that change and know that the best is yet to come.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

Yes, I receive that for all of us. Yes, the best is yet to come. So beautifully said when you when you said embrace the slow season. Because I think for a lot of us it's challenging to admit that we're slowing down, but there is so much beauty, as you said, in just sitting still, restructuring, reorganizing, finding systems, or you know, strategizing new systems so that when you're ready to ramp up against scale and grow, you've had the time to you know see if it sticks and see if it works and get the back end ready for that new growth season. And seasons are so important, and I think that sometimes as ambitious women, we we don't embrace those slower seasons or the seasons that are teaching us. We don't often embrace them, but it's a beautiful time to find some stillness in the chaos and really uh lay those foundational pieces for the woman, entrepreneur, mother, wife, friend that you're becoming. Because for me, I um I felt that motherhood was a catalyst actually for the opportunities that I've always dreamt of, but I never really, you know, thought that it can happen, you know? And even though it was messy, chaotic, overwhelming, it was so beautiful to actually have time to think about those unseen things that I thought would, you know, that that's not possible. That's not possible. But motherhood became a catalyst for the beauty in this next version of myself that I can't wait to meet. And I realized that in that slow season, I had to mourn the former version that I was trying to hold on to so much. But it's okay to mourn. It's okay to to you know figure it out and celebrate that person because those characteristics are still very much essential as you continue to propel forward. Um, so thank you for sharing that bit of advice because I think even myself five years in, I needed to hear that again. It's okay to embrace the slow season with grace. This is one of my favorite parts of the show, and that's called our millennial nostalgia breaks. I feel like we're millennial moms and we're pretty fun, and it's crazy that we're the parents, but I think that I know, but I think that the music art of the time of the late 90s and 2000s kind of shaped, you know, who we are as parents and who we're becoming. So is there any moment that that you felt was like fun or cool when it comes to growing up as a millennial and and something that kind of brought you joy from that time?

SPEAKER_01 47:13

I do have one, but I feel like it's good, it's the it's gonna be very bad to say. And it and it's only because the season that we're currently in. Um I apologize to anyone listening. I've I'm originally from Miami, Florida. So 1305, okay. One of the people that we all listen. Pretty Ricky was one of our favorites who you know we shouldn't have been listening to at the time. And it's funny because you know, they're on tour right now, and all of my friends from like high school, we've been like sending like videos of Pretty Ricky came and performed at our our high school when we went to high school. Oh my gosh, I feel so old. So we were like joking about when like when they came to perform at our high school and how the principal was like, you know, we're too young, so like they're not allowed to bring any girls to the stage. Um, so it's that's one of the funny, like very, you know, it's it's bad for it. But yeah, yeah, that was a fun memory.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Sure. Listen, like pretty Ricky. So I'm from Miami as as well, so trust me, we definitely should not have been listening to them, but it there was some good music. But um, I just I always remember remember those local performances and how they would bring like a local artist, and and you know, it was a good time, it was a good time, and I think there was so much innocence there. There was so much innocence there, and so much like we're just carefree, you know. And I love that. Yeah, they're come on now, come on now. Yeah, pretty Ricky, pretty Ricky. Okay, if you don't know, go ahead and look it up. Oh my gosh, B, thank you so much. This conversation I feel like has been so thought-provoking, it's been so real and authentic. And I always like to pause and allow for us to kind of give our former self to the version of who you were in the beginning, beginning stages of your motherhood journey. If you could tell her something today that would make her proud, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 49:04

You're doing it, you're doing it. That's all. Like my um, I know when when my mom found out I was pregnant, I'm I have a twin and my twin has two children. And when it came down to me, everyone was like, She's having a child, and my mom's like, you know what, I'm proud of you because you're actually you're doing better than we all expected. So for me, it's that you're doing it.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Yes, yes, yes. And for those that are listening, that may feel like it's just so hard right now, and you're you you just don't know when you're gonna get to the other side of it. Just know that you're doing it, just know that every sacrifice is not unseen and it may feel alone, but you're you're not alone. You're connected to a community of women that are trying their best day to day, even moment by moment. So you're doing it. Yes, you are, you are doing it, okay? So, B, oh my gosh, I'm so sad that we have to part, but I just want to again thank you for your wisdom, your knowledge, your professionalism, your expertise, and your insight. We needed to hear what you had to say, and I want to make sure that this community stays connected to you. So, where can listeners uh find baby bump and business and how they how can they stay connected with you? Social media and beyond.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

Yeah, so you can follow us at baby bump and business on Instagram. Our podcast is on all on platform, our podcast is on all platforms. Um, and then you can follow me at BeFearless Studios or at B underscore Alyssa Troford on Instagram, social media. We're all there, and I look forward to continuing to share my journey. And I thank you again for creating space for us as creatives and as entrepreneurs and as mothers.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

It has been my pleasure. And what city are you in? Just in case someone needs a commercial photographer and beyond, where can they find you locally?

SPEAKER_01 50:58

I am locally in Atlanta, Georgia. I also um still travel home to Miami for work. So between Atlanta and Miami is where you can find me.

SPEAKER_00 51:06

Amazing, amazing. Thank you again for just your time. I am so glad that we were able to share some space and time again. And thank you for listening to this episode of Musings of a Geriatric Mama. Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for another insightful, inspirational conversation. Take care.